Roll out of bed at 8:10 and snap at your mother who has very kindly been trying to wake you up for the past ten minutes. You have to go get some blood work done, so you know that getting out of bed is crucial, but you’re not going to be pleasant about it.
You throw on clothes that you later realize are dirty, don’t eat breakfast because it has to be fasting blood work, and get your sleepy bum into the car.
You then, upon arrival, make a snide comment about the doctor’s office smelling like cleaning fluids and mock the ageist posters on the wall. You’re not happy.
It’s your turn, yippee! You sit down in that oh-so-comfortable chair (yes, that was sarcasm) and stick your arm out, your mother distracts you so you won’t think about the needle, and then you feel the prick and sting of the needle going into your arm.
About three vials of blood later it starts to hurt a lot more than it should and the woman taking your blood calls for help. Your vein has collapsed. Splendid.
You’re feeling a little dizzy but insist that they proceed with the next arm because they still need to fill four more vials in order to perform all of the tests the doctor ordered. About half a vial later things start to get frighteningly blurry and you notice there are little spots everywhere.
You vocalize this observation and they immediately remove the needle. Everything goes black, they lay you on the floor, put an ice pack behind your neck, a cold cloth on your forehead, and a juice box in your hand. Good for you! You can’t even get through some simple blood work!
You’re then moved to a chair that reclines and elevates your feet. The expert of the blood work center takes over. She tries the second arm again and gets nothing while noticing that that area is already bruised, so she then moves lower on your arm. You’ve had A LOT of blood drawn before and no one has ever attempted to draw from that spot on your arm. It hurts. It hurts a lot.
Your vein collapses.
Congratulations! You fail your blood test! I bet you didn’t know that it was the kind of test you could fail! (Story of my life.)
They explain that while you’ve been a trooper, they still don’t have enough blood. They’ll do the best that they can, but you’ll most likely have to come in again tomorrow for round two! Stay hydrated!
You get a bagel, go home, put on Tangled, and go back to sleep.
You wake up and realize that it’s 2:20. You’ve slept the entire day away. You suck.
Twenty minutes later you realize that it’s 12:40.
You can’t read a clock.
You still suck.